8 TIPS FOR BETTER SEX DURING PREGNANCY

1. Think round, think big. Consider what you're getting and not what you're losing. Your new roundness provides more surface area for your lover to see and touch. Any time you feel yourself falling back into your old mindset, call a friend who's been there and ask her to talk you out of it. Stand in front of a mirror and embrace the new version of yourself. Take pride in your "new" body – give it the respect it deserves.

2. Give yourself a sexy look. Just because your body is getting bigger doesn't mean you shouldn't look your best. Treat yourself to a new hairstyle, change your make-up, and buy a new nightgown revealing what's appealing. This is likely to spark your mate and push your sexual image up a notch.

3. Act sexier than you feel. Social scientists have shown that acting can affect feeling. Smiling, for example, causes your brain to release the same chemicals it would if you were actually happy – thereby making you happier. If you act unsexy, you may cause your partner to feel unsexy, making him retreat. If you act sexy, you may soon surprise yourself with feeling sexy!

4. You are attractive to your mate. If you convince yourself that your blossoming belly is no longer attractive to your husband, you are setting yourself up for a sexual slow down. Besides, this probably isn't true. It's the different shape that attracts males. And certainly during pregnancy you will look and act differently than at any other time in your relationship. Research doesn't support your assumption that you are not attractive to your mate; most men find their wives' newly rounded bodies appealing. Your mate is likely to love the fleshy feel and curvy look of your pregnant body. Add to these features the possibility that once you are past the yucky early months of pregnancy you are initiating lovemaking and your mate is likely to feel excited about your sexuality while pregnant.

5. Have a sex talk. Tell your mate about the way pregnancy is affecting your sexuality; and ask your mate to tell you how he feels about your new look. Each partner should explain his or her feelings. Be sure that he does not interpret your disinterest in sex as disinterest in him, for example, or you don't assume his confusion over how to touch you now means he's not interested. By the same token, avoid projecting your sexual uneasiness onto your mate. He will probably find you more attractive than ever.

6. Share your body. Be sure to include your husband in the pregnancy by being proud of – rather than hiding – your body's milestones: your darkened nipples, the first tummy bulge. Focus on what is new and exciting that you will both enjoy only during pregnancy. For example, your new breasts will be "all his" for the rest of the pregnancy – what a turn on, without resorting to silicone! Lie nude together watching and feeling the baby move. Your mate will enjoy side views that he has never before seen. One fun project can be taking "as you grow" photos, month-by-month photos showing, from all angles, your changing pregnant image. Your mate will enjoy his "pin-up wall."

7. Have a fling. Have periodic weekend "dates" before baby arrives; after he or she comes you will have less energy for each other. The best time for ambitious sexual retreats is during the middle months of pregnancy, but make an effort to spend romantic time enjoying each other throughout the pregnancy.

8. Avoid the "sex as a service" feeling. While for most couples a certain amount of "obligatory" sex is usual during pregnancy, don't let your mate feel you are always "servicing" him (or her!), even though sometimes you are.

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